bluh!!!

i really can't imagine
how i am so lonely right now
even though i think i had everything
it seems so empty inside

back then,
there's a girl who really push
herself to be in a civilized place
and now
that wish was granted
but the little girl was not satisfied
for what she had now.

she then wished again to be
in their old home
but unfortunately
her mother always reminds her
that the house that was built in the city
was for her.

the girl felt conscience in her,
in her everyday life
she just wandering around the city.

~SonG hYun aE~

go out w/ mah hyungs. . .

.something 'bout U my dear G.d. . .

seeing U at that time (before) felt like just nothing
after the moment that you revealed your feelings
i also thought that i kinda like you

i really don't have an idea if this is just an admiration or affection
but if i admired you, i really don't know what thing or part of yourself that made me stared
i just know that if you're around i want to see you
the closer the better

i really want you to make conversation with me
somehow i thought that it wasn't me who control you
so don't forget that i'm here staring at you

times that i got perfect in our class
the thought of celebrating with you, my hyungs, and their crushes
will suddenly pop up in my mind

i don't even know when is that time
but i really hope that it will happen

you, boy made my world go round
so i shall call you money (in my mind)

~SonG hYun aE~

♥its been like a decade. . .

my summer was like a ferris wheel that stop at the top
unfortunately, the top portion of it was a lonely one
i'm not a internet connected girl at that time

that girl (considered as me) was alone in a big and dark house
she was there all the time thinking about her friends.

she was not able also to attend their monthsary
there were no signal for mobile phone in her place
it was like an island with people with no technology knowledge

after that boring times until now
that girl is begging for mercy to live in a place where people
are computer-civil? enough to make her belong

today, in a happy school days
she even don't have any idea what people in the city talking about
(Celsius Junior)
so, she just smiled in front of them

sometimes, fate makes her think that each human
around her were giants and she measured her self as an ant
but before then she promised to her self that even if she don't know everything
she will cope up next month in her new shelter

she thought of that because the mother pledged to her
that for the next 30 days from 1 they will
transfer in the internet-connected place
and she was happy about it


~SonG hYun aE~

she's home. . .

at night, my grandma told us that my cousin (ate)

will be home tomorrow

at 12 noon, i just arrived from school

i saw my ate M-M eating something

i met everyone including my aunt Lysel, mommy Maria and daddy Lolo

because of my tummy, i joined her ate

we discuss things concerning her stay in Cebu>br/>

after those things, she then went to the computer room

and . . . . .

i published this for i am very happy that she arrived safe

~SonG hYun aE~

have fun in a cab

CJ had a bonding time with the following:

Francel

Rizza

Kris

Kristina

Demie

Shemah

Sweenie...

together we laugh at the jokes that we heard

together we ate unripe mango with 'bagoong'

together we found bag.ong new word

. . . . . . . 'SECRETS-S-S-S-S-S' . . . . . . .

secrets-s-s-s-s-s is a collective noun

whahah!! funny grand-mug (francel)

she's the one invented that one

but together is the most beautiful word in our friendship. . . . .

.really wanna leave?

after reading those words of yours

i felt like you never want us to be here with you

u found your new circle

and i hope you will never forget those things that happened between us

this is not my goodbye

but its a letter of loneliness?

(not exactly loneliness)

i cant attached my words exactly

because i cant find a gum that will do it

the time i read your work

i feel that all those time we were together

we were just an invisible emoticon

that made u laugh, cry, sad, and glad.

those times were really great

dont forget, im always here for you

saranghaeyo hyung-dongsaeng

♥----♥

~SonG hYun aE~

.check my new XIAH.

look for my new playlist

i just magic it using purple wand

that picture was captivate in their 'PURPLE LINE' MV

i love it very much

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

~SonG hYun aE~

.yepeh! a success...

after a week of making my playlist in fs

i had just done it successfully

for how many trials, url i have encoutered, editing and chocho!

the only way to be purple (playlist in fs)

is my BLOG's HTML

credit for my dearest hyungs who encourage me to made a blog

hyung pen

hyung ding

and im also thanking Jerome Tobes for letting me not bored while encounter this prob!

and also to my only teddy who always answers my question. saranghae.

and to BRO (God) for letting me noticed the only way. kamsahamnida.

~SonG hYun aE~

:x..teddy-oppa..x:

its been a year since i felt this anxious feeling

the way i feel right now is the same when CCAA confessed his love? for me

but noe, i have it again but for another person

actually, he is a year older than me

thats why i am very disappointed because he will now graduate this coming April 3

I just felt this at our 5th School-Based Math Camp

he was one of the facilitators of our subcamp but crossed-out when he didn't showed up at the meeting place

i just ignored him sometimes because he was just my co-faci

but after my hyung told me that he always looked for me

(not 'always' but actually 3 times)

my heart bumped and said

'marry me teddy, you'll never never have to be alone

I love you and thats all i really know

I hope I can talk to you and decide what you think of me

Its a love story teddy just say 'yes'

in my own decision, its our love song

because at our Math Camp time

this song is always played

TEDDY I LOVE YOU

saranghaeyo yeonwonhi

~Song hYun aE~

.Sorry Sorry.

to all ELF in the whole wide world, please anticipate the new comeback

album of Super Junior featuring the new song 'Sorry Sorry' ♥

please anticipate also their new look

and by the way they are so mature compared to their previous MV's

please buy a copy of it and let them sign

para vigah!!..♥

.saranghaeyo Super Junior yeongwonhi.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

~SonG hYun aE~

~mian. hyungz bcos thank GOD!~

yesterday, hyung pen & I decided to go to cloud9 to fetch hyung ding

it was now programmed to go there in between 8-9 am

but suddenly, when i went back home (MZdN)

my mother just told me that i'm having a acute operation regarding to my taste buds

since i cant skipped my secured house, i havent informed my hyungs to cancel my flight

the following day, i have no courage to text my hyungs because of nervousness (?!)

i am now heading to the operation door and my heartbeat beat faster

in the room, the time i have saw everything is that when the head doctor pin something to me

and then im so sleepy afterwards.

i opened my eyes with all my innocent face when my tita forced me to eat fish (isda=yuck)

and after all of what happen there, i went to the small church attach to the hospital

and prayed saying 'THANK YOU LORD, for my operation was a success'

after a 10-minute sleep break, I then went home

and sleep again for an hour

my omma then realized that after the operation, i'm always sleeping w/o breathing

thats why she consult the doctor about it and the doctor just replied that

it was the side effect of my abnormalism (of WBC)

i have abnormality (WBC) since i was born here in our MOTHER EARTH

because my omma let me drink antibiotic drugs since i was 2 weeks old

and it affects my blood count esp. WBC

and now, i'm easy to get sick

so hospital is my third home

THANK GOD for being alive since then

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

~SonG hYun aE~

~saeng il chuka hamnida~

its been 3 months and 25 days since i love u

and this is your first birthday we celebrate together

and if fate gave us a chance to meet i would anticipate much

but since it was just a dream to me for us to become one

i just appreciate what i have today even if you're not here.

today is your 22rd celebration (international age)

and i hope you are happy with your co-member as happy as i am being with my hyungs

even if they are dwaejee, i still love them.

this poem is for you to be happy and remember me always.

___________________________________________________________________________

Each year your birthday reminds me

That I really want to sayI’m very glad I know you;

I think of you each day.

I hope you enjoy your birthday,

All the pleasures it has in store,

And because I appreciate you,

I hope you have many more!

Instead of counting candles,

Or tallying the years,

Contemplate your blessings,

As your birthday nears.

Consider special people

Who love you, and who care,

And others who’ve enriched your life

Just by being there.

Think about the memories

Passing years can never mar,

Experiences great and small

That have made you who you are.

Another year is a happy gift,

So cut your cake, and say

,"Instead of counting birthdays,

I count blessings every day!"

____________________________________________________________________

this is for you SIWON-oppa

and hope that you have time to read my appreciation for you

saranghaeyo yongweonhi

always here at your side to guide with candlelight,

in the life that sometimes in a dark.

♥♥♥

사랑해요 영원히 시원 오빠

♥♥♥

~SonG hYun aE~

.y i cnt tell?

why i cant tell him?
is it because our friendship will affect?
so why? why? why? love is formed?
can anyone tell me?..
my record is bad enough to be realized that i have been crushing him for 8 months
why is love like that? ignoring people
cant tell their feelings to the one they like
why it exist if someone in this whole world cant explain?
can anybody answer why?

i cant even tell my hyungs
i know from the start that my unni cant understand me
because we are so different and that difference cant affect our friendship
thats a true friend means
not like anybody there, out there, so materialistic

i'm happy that i found my inner strength and that is my hyungs
and special someone
and Siwon-sshi, SJ, SHINee, SNSD unni, TVXQ esp. xiah my dear junsu.

saranghaeyo yongwoenhi..
♥

~SonG hYun aE~

:O..passing grade aftr removal..

i am taking removal for i have a very disappointing grade which .70% below the passing grade

after 2 nyts of preparing and praying for the removal aiming for the 75 grade

GOD answered my prayers with a very fluent answer even though the grade is not that high

at least it is higher than before

my grade back then was 74.30

since i brought bermuda and was participating in giving test tubes

maam then again add 1.4 to my grade

because of my lucky hand i had now chose the easiest question among all

nervous and confused are the factors that affect my test and got 4 mistakes

but then again i passed the exam and got 80 for the final grade in Chemistry

for the computations

i have 74.5 grade + the 1.4 bermuda and test tube = 75.6 rounded off to 76

since maam's deal was '

if we have a passing grade but a line of seven, and pass the removal exam we got an 80 grade but if not passed the grade is "as is"

but if we have a failing grades, we are obliged to take test and aim for the 75 grade'.

*GOD thanx for the opportunity to have a passing grade and also to Maam Che*

~SonG hYun aE~

X(..cn i be a karate kid!?

after having some etiquette time in T.L.E

matthew and i decided to clean the CR since we are assigned to do so

Juan owe me something so i told him to go fetch

with us and do the chores with us.

he then called charles johnrey to be with him since johnrey is the only friend of him that was in the room

bcoz all the boys are outside

then time come. i am forward to do the cleaning in the CR

while juan and matthew were thinking something fishy

after i'm done doing such, i heard the door shut

i thought it was only me in the room

there is also johnrey scripted-trapped at our rome

and oh! the lock of the cage of my demons is suddenly open

and my demons are unleashed

i kicked the purple stone towards the door creating a big 'bang' sound

and after that they didnt opened it

so i punched the door with my very own strength and not noticing that my right fist

is wounded so i just keep the 'hapdos' within me

i cant let out my anger because of my wound

and since it is planned

"I WILL NEVER FORGIVE THEM UNLESS THEY'LL DO SOMETHING THAT I'VE BEEN DREAMING OF"

like a ticket to KOREA, or a gift from SANTA CLAUS

.with that punch, can i be accepted as 'the Karate Kid'

~SonG hYun aE~

생 일 축 함니다 규현 오ㅂ바 ♥♥♥

today is a very special day to us (CJ), ELF, and Super Junior

especially Kyuhyun oppa.

we CJ celebrated oppa's day

by singing birthday song (korean version)

since we have a heptic timetable

we have no extra time to buy

cake like of that Donghae oppa's birthday

at lunchtime.

we just bought canton for my hyungs and

curlt spaghetti for me

and singing

'saeng il chuk hamnida (2), saeng il chuk kyuhyun oppa, saeng il chuk hamnida'

in Korean time~ oppa is now 22 years of age

but*

in international time~ SJ magnae is 21 years young.

message to Kyuhyun oppa*

oppa, wish you more birthday to celebrate and long life to enjoy

hope that no more injure thing and hurts that will come in your life

be strong oppa because you have lots of lovers that is concerned

and i know your Super Junior hyung are happy now that you're in good position right now

i can say that you can be a righteous model for us (your magnae)

think positive always and hwaiting

Happy Birthday to you

love,

Maica [송 휸 애]

this is a sincere letter

hope Kyuhyun oppa will read it

~SonG hYun aE~

...

today

is just a regular day for everybody

nothing change except for

my new hair look.

happenings are just the same

as usual

i chatted with my hyungs

Macky was in a'kulit mode'

we took Journalism periodical exam

OMG, Charles Johnrey spoke to me

he just said "sori because i forced you to reply me!'

and we (CJ) together with Mark Lloyd an JV

happily went home

~SonG hYun aE~

=!..T.L.E..skirt..

there's a thing we Platinum should do

its T.L.E. time

sewing, sewing, sewing!

before the deadline, we sewed our own skirt

OMG, boys also made skirt. hahah =D

***

the day (deadline) has come

we (hyung pen & i) sewed ours at my bhaus

while hyung ding did her work at cloud9

after such thing, hyung ding traveled with her mother going at the place we (hyung pen & i) were

and after that, i took a bath for a while.

while my two loving-dwaejee hyungs practice dancing 'GEE' (the 1st girly dance CJ danced)

***

oh. we are now going to ma'am recrita's house

and oops! there's dogs around us. but unfortunately, hyung pen was with me and i feel safe nah!

we (hyung pen & i) were cornered by those dogs not knowing that it was owned by maam araneta's.

yehey! we found wat we searching for when hyung approach her new

"migo, migo"

we meet Marvins (not sure 'bout da spelling)

ma'am's son (so cute)

we just talk about our business with his mom

and gave the envelop containing the skirts we made by ourselves

asked him to put dogs inside their house

but he didn't obey his unni (us)

we just walked away with

**and went home**

~SonG hYun aE~

='(..hapi anniversary..(untah)..)'=

its been a year since we got romance, romance

.but after he 3 months

he then realized that we are not at the appropriate age

to be one

so, he broked at the very same day of our monthsary.

and after that we became "amigo"

~SonG hYun aE~

.gee gee gee gee.

since junior Platinum have no classes in the afternoon

CJ decided to go to their magnae's bhauz

me [magnae], went home first then came hyung pen and hyung ding

since we are not in the mood of practicing girly actions,

i just cut some scrapbooking materials

hyung pen is surfing k-pop and snsd videos

hyung ding, in a "out of mood" mood just take a minute sleep after observing my new saved pics of SJ

when hungry time has come

we cooperate to buy some 'ginang.gang'

two banana for my hyungs ['cause hyungs are so dwaejee]

and one for me [controling diet]

then,

we practiced Gee by SNSD after chit-chatting while eating

we dance, dance, dance and danced girly dance [heheh!]

and got a small part of Gee because we just had an hour practice

at that time, even though there's no event

CJ just made a reunion or should i say "gathering"

after experienced dancing,

i just join my hyung to wait for a motorcab and say

."ANNYEONG HYUNGS".

~SonG hYun aE~

♥a sudden dream of him♥

[it should be 012009]

at 01:37 am, my sleepy eyes suddenly open and i realized that the boy

i'm dreamin' of was my Mr.(7)(2)(2)3 7 raised to the power of 0 3 raised to the power of 3[(3)(2)+1](4)(2)(3)(2)+30.

the venue was at a beach and

he hugged me so tightly and i just hugged him back.

he wore white shirt and so am i

we have a couple chemistry

and i'm so glad that i have dreamed about him

'cause since we are apart years? ago

(he's just my crush, not my love)

but my feelings for him was a forbidden because he has a special someone nah!!

='(

BOY, I admire you since we became friends.

~SonG hYun aE~

?t0day was an 'i dont know'?

[it should be 011909]

first, i feel awkward towards boys but then i just ignore it.

afternoon comes, i was out there (porch) roaming around and heard 'bout crushes2

suddenly, hyung ding asked me "kinxay crush ni Macky?"

then i was =? huh? .y me ang pangutan.on? (thats what on my mind)

someone approach hyung and whisper about it and hyung suddenly hugged me with an unguessable face

=? .huh? (wa jud koy hanaw) but its ok, basin hyung is just playing prank on me.

i dont dibdibized it.

my mind was out of that topic when some of the boys (usually Matthew & Ed) asked me

'nacrush kang Macky?'

=? huh! duh! we're just friends and seatmates.

after that someone told me that, that question was rumored because of the closeness we appeared these past days. i realized thats why people around us think like that..

=<>=

~SonG hYun aE~

?!.wat a surprise shame.!?

.at our christmas party.

.giving of gifts time.

.we have fun describing our manita/manito's personality.

.and i know that my turn will never be except.

.i had hard times finding describing words for my manita [tandy], so i let demie talk with the microphone thing.

.i just hand personaly the gift to tristan.

.and before that, the one that picked my pseudonym written in a piece of roll paper was demie.

.my bestfriend last year.

.at first the time we waited at DBP, i was holding demie's gift with the Hannah Montana wrapper.

.i was curious at the shape because it was so thin and wide.

.i had no idea wats inside.

.i just hugged it while waiting.

.at the party, giving gifts time.

.demie let me give her present to her manita not expecting that i'm the chosen one.

♥kamsahamnida Dem for the Gift♥

~SonG hYun aE~

†a lesson from u†

small scene from our occasion

that warmed my red blood cells was the serious-black talk of CJ.

it began when intermission of SOLA people ended.

me & unni pen contradicted hyung ding's decision that we had to perform right after SOLA's pipz dance.

hyung ding appeared to be the shorter patience between us.

so at that time, her patience broke down and begin to yell at us..

[not actually yell but nearer to that word]

she just said, "maot man ng m.perform after lunch oi, cgeh, DILI NALANG TAH PERFORM !!!".

so, we [unni & i] just kept our mouth shut and enjoy our lunch while observing hyung's "pakikipag-halubilo" with Joanne and company.

.i learned out of that experience was i should listen to my co-member's decision and make the final one by combining each of our mind's similar thinking.

and being a magnae/dongsaeng, i should be careful of what i will talk because i have hyungs with easy-to-break

PATIENCE

♥mianhaeyo♥

..hyung ding..

~SonG hYun aE~

='[..sad occasion to meh!!

[it should be 122008]

at night before the 20th, i feel ichy because of nervousness and excite.

i was pressured of what will do, what will i wrap for my gift, and what will i wear to look dofferent.

i remember the HOODY i bought the day that i'm with my 2 precious hyungs and the late member of CELSIUS [swyn] and the cargo shorts that i bought.

so, i had an idea to combine them and wear and i saw a small-styled white shirt, so i huddle it up and taddah!!,

i looked quite normal and boyish so obvious.

in the morning [party day], i requested my hyung ding to fashion my hair like of that Dongho [U-KISS].

but obviously because of the time, hyung didn't made the exact fashioned hair that i dreamed of.[its ok]

hyung & I decided to leave the bhauz and oopz! unni pen showed up. we go together at the public market,

we buy gift bags instead of wrapping each gifts.

then, off we go to DBP[the meeting place] gosh we're there waiting almost 3 hours 'couz ma'am T didn't walk earlier

until our patience snaps, we just hopped to a bus with classmates [tres marias, CJ],traveling Dapitan City,

the city that was known by its history.

ma'am, classmates w/ long patience, and denver popped up at the Kamalig Resort[where the party was held].

we did the program with Demie the EMCEE, prayer, intermission from SOLA people.

ohh!! we [CJ] had serious talk..

[read "a lesson from you"]

we enjoy our very meal and hopped to 'giving of gifts' because some of our CLSMTS didn't showed up like kim & jv

after the gifts opened, we had a 'singco2 singing machine' and we sang with loud, shouting voice.

we chit-chat there and here.. enjoying the last talk of december..

..THE BASHFULL END..

~SonG hYun aE~

♥..mianhaeyo..♥

..my lonely blog.

..from the start of my heptic time, i have not updated my blog nah..

..so i just indicate the date before the article..

..mianhaeyo..

미안해요

~SonG hYun aE~

?oh! no, i lost (but)..

[it should be 121608]

this canvassing thing were done 2 days before our happy? christmas party.
but suddenly because of the time,
the schedule for our occasion was vary then
the said occasion was on the 20th of christmas month..

my destiny to be the 1st runner up makes me happy? sad?
happy back then because i received 604.50 Php..

making me sad was because of my parents,
my father, which is a balikbayan from Kuwait
didn't gave any amount for my lonely box.
and being his middle daughter,
i know he has no extra money for that
but if he just put any amount like 50 cnts.
i would be glad to accept it..

.but it was a great activity and guess who? was my
PARTNER!?

.....
it was Mac Arthur P. Loques
~he was my seatmate then na sobra sa kulit but its ok,
i feel glad naman na xha~

.being loser is not a curse but a challenge to be a stronger than before.





~SonG hYun aE~

♥s0ri maNita♥

[it should be 121508]

these past few days,
i was not able to participate in our christmas activity named Kringle.
because i dnt have any MONEY to buy her a present.

my mother gave me money but it was all budgeted
for my daily allowance and expenses in school..
i feel sorry for her, she was my friend then..
...naneun seulpeoyo...


JOESONGHAMNIDA
TAN



~SonG hYun aE~